Sharing the Love: Wearing Other People’s Children

I love to wear other people’s children. I love the feel of an almost weightless newborn snuggling against my chest, when I’d forgotten how tiny they are, and the excitement of a two-year-old getting a ‘ride’ for the first time. Every child is so different and much as I love my own, I enjoy an adulterous thrill when I wear someone new.

Staying sane when out with multiple children

I always have a spare carrier when out and about as my three-year-old is still regularly worn. I’m used to wearing two at once so at any point I can move my baby on to my front and put another child on my back… and it’s not always my own daughter.

If you’re out with your two-to-four-year-old and a friend of theirs, you can alternate the children on your back. I always give the walking child fun responsibilities like pressing the buttons on pedestrian crossings and looking for ‘treasures’ like acorns.

When I’m out with a friend who uses a stroller, we usually end up playing a version of musical chairs – her children end up riding on my back while my daughter gets a rare ride in the stroller. It’s amazing how compliant the children are when they get to try something new. Toddlers and preschoolers who aren’t used to being worn usually love the novelty of being in a carrier.

The babywearing babysitter

The problem with regular babywearing is that your arms atrophy: I just don’t seem to be able to carry a heavy baby for as long as most parents who don’t use carriers! So any baby in my care will end up in a carrier at some point. I also find babywearing essential for safety reasons if I’m looking after a mobile baby or young toddler. I just don’t want to risk her/him choking on something another child has left lying around or getting away from me in an unfenced playground.

How do parents feel about a babysitter using a baby carrier? Should you broach the subject with them first? There are three issues that parents may have with another person wearing their baby:

• Safety concerns.
• Discomfort with someone else having such an intimate experience with their child.
• Conflicting parenting philosophy – belief that it will ‘spoil’ the child or disrupt a strict schedule or sleep/independence training program.

I’ve never formally asked parents before wearing their children but I’ve only looked after the children of close friends who believe in the principles of attachment parenting and who know I’m an experienced babywearer. I feel that by not asking first, I’m sending a message that babywearing is safe and normal. It’s important to use your intuition, though, to sense if the parents feel uncomfortable and I believe you should always ask first in the following circumstances:

• Before putting a young baby (under a year old) on your back, particularly if using a scary-looking technique like a ‘toss’ method.
• If you’re inexperienced, particularly if you don’t have children of your own or you’re trying out a new carrier you’re not confident with.

Using other people’s babies to demonstrate babywearing

A new parent comes to your sling meet and asks you to demonstrate a carrier. Should you use their baby? It’s not always necessary but there are some definite advantages:

• You may not have another baby or doll the correct size.
• It gives you a chance to see if the baby likes the carrier.
• The baby may initially feel more comfortable being worn by an experienced babywearer than by his/her parents.

Just as for babysitting, use your intuition, exude confidence and don’t try anything that looks scary. If your partner says “Every time you toss her on your back like that it scares me,” when he/she’s been watching you do it for four years, chances are it will freak out a babywearing virgin.

And always ask first…. Nothing will turn innocent new parents off babywearing like some crazy hippy grabbing their child unannounced and strapping him on her back!

Have you worn anyone else’s child? What was the reaction? How did you find it? Leave a comment and let us know!