PND, FSOT and Something to Think About

This post is to call out a certain wrap manufacturer, sie wissen wer sie sind!

We all know that self medication isn’t the most sensible course to chart when ill. Certainly when mental illness like Post Natal Depression (PND) is on the cards, talking to a professional is always a good idea. But I held out. I gave it my best shot. I came up with my own therapy to make myself feel better. That’s right: babywearing is good for the soul.

And if babywearing is good for the soul, then FSOT (For Sale or Trade) is the pharmacopia of the slinging masses! It’s escapism! It’s esteem building! It’s a little rush to wake up in the morning and know that there is a package on the way! Long live FSOT!

On the other hand, why does shopping for wraps make me feel better temporarily? To tell the truth, I like to shop. I’m a consumer at the core, always looking for something new. However, postnatal and puffy, my shopping options are no longer what they once were before the era of toothless grins and nappy buckets.

I wear old jeans and sensible cotton jersey nursing tops, I have one pair of shoes I wear daily, my hair is either a mess or in a pre-mess state (which means I haven’t had the kids near me since I last remembered to brush it) and let’s just say that nursing two kids and no longer going to the gym daily (or, indeed, at all) means I’m not entirely the same shape I was before they barged their way into my life in a flurry of contractions and some bad tempered swearing on my part. I should also acknowledge that even if I knew how to apply makeup, no amount of it, no matter how expensive, is going to cover the bags hanging under my eyes.

So I’m tired and overworked and I look terrible like your average mother of two small children. Shopping makes me feel better. But dragging two kids through a shopping mall really doesn’t. So I’m an online shopper.

I’d buy books, which are intellectual and clever, but I don’t have time to read them (and I can go to the library). I’d buy clothes or shoes, but they’re either not going to look good right now (they will one day) or I’ll not be able to wrangle kids in them. I’d buy makeup but I have no idea how to use it and would I really spend five whole minutes applying it when I could be sleeping?

So I buy baby carriers. I can do it online at a whim, juggling the wearee on one knee. Baby carriers make my life easier. They always look good, because they’re stuffed with cute baby and hide the bits that wouldn’t pass muster on a dreadful reality TV program.

But that’s the thing. I’m hiding behind carriers. I feel better when I’m wearing them, not only because they make my baby happy and I’m happy to be close to her- I only need one or two carriers for that. But when I’m babywearing, I don’t have to be me any more. I can be The Mother At the Playground Who is Wonderful With Knots. You see, that wonderful mother Who Is Good With Knots, doesn’t have too many problems. Her kids are under control (they’re tied on), she’s organized (the kids are tied on) and she’s just a little bit annoying (the kids want to get DOWN). It’s a little sad when I think about it like that.

So, for the moment, I’m trying to remember that my “medication” is not doing me any real good, it’s just a temporary departure from mundanity. To a certain wrap manufacturer: haben ihre schlimmsten!

Other posts on postnatal depression:

Do you have an experience with PND? Do you shop to make yourself feel good? Tell us about it, I can’t be the only one!

About Steph

Steph is a Mum of three with a passion for babywearing and some excellent skills with knots.
This entry was posted in Babywearing and PND, Personal Stories, Special Topics and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to PND, FSOT and Something to Think About

  1. Christie M says:

    I just wanted to say that I loved your post. I identify with your Mum philosophy and also that amazing feeling being a baby wearing mama. Go girl! 🙂

  2. Steph says:

    Thanks Christie! 🙂

  3. Evie says:

    Steph I love this post! I so understand what you mean. That’s what I try to explain to my partner when she asks why I need another baby carrier. It’s the only little thing I can buy “for me” without feeling guilty- cos as much as it’s for me it’s for my son as well. Clothes, well, they are all from kmart, target or vinnies these days and babies make your size go up and down so you don’t know if they’ll last anyway. Baby carriers, well they get used everyday so on a cost per wear basis it’s not so bad! When you have a carrier you love, those days when your little one just is not happy go by much better cos at least you can have fun showing off your stash.

  4. Agyeman says:

    Well done for sharing your story with us hun. This is a very good anocuct of PND. Your not a bad mum, and never were. I am glad to hear you battled on and defeated PND! xx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *